Tips for Romantic Picnic Dates

ikPicnics are great romantic date ideas. Planning a picnic for a loved one can be the most romantic time ever spent together. With the warmer weather approaching now is the perfect time to think about a romantic picnic with that special person in your life. It might not be the best first date, but once a small connection is established, with trust, take the girl out to an isolated area of a public park, lay out a blanket, and bring drinks and snacks of your choice.

Romantic dates are about enjoying each other and this includes picnics. Decide on food items like fruit slices, chicken fingers, cheese, crackers, and a beverage, preferably something with sparkling bubbles like wine, champagne, or something non-alcoholic if you’re driving to the picnic spot.

Why go on a romantic picnic?

It’s a break from your usual dating routine,
guaranteed alone time with your partner,
Create a relaxed atmosphere to re-ignite your romance,
Strengthen your “you-and-me-identity.”
Impress him with your culinary skills

Romantic picnic ideas:

Kissing Cards Game: Playing cards is a fun pass time. Add the kissing element, and you have a romantic picnic idea. Play any card game you like such as poker or crazy eights. Instead of points or poker chips, trade kisses.

Love Puzzle Purchase a puzzle that has about 100 pieces so that is will be fairly easy to put together. Put the puzzle together before the picnic and turn it over to write a special love note on the back. Take the puzzle apart, and bring it along on the picnic. Put the puzzle together on the picnic, to reveal the secret love note to your sweetheart.

Tips to Impress Your Valentine and Grow Your Love Strong

tbDid your heart miss a beat when he said the three magical words to you? Did you jump with joy when he proposed you in front of all your family and friends? Did you dream to live a happy married life with your boyfriend every day since he asked your hand for marriage? Love, when blooms leave no one to stay mentally fit. It plays with your emotions and meddles with your mind-set. You tend to become over protective and over possessive of the guy with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. You wish to celebrate valentine’s every day as your love tends to grow more and more for that one person. To express all your feelings to that one man with whom you are in serious relationship, Valentine’s Day is the best choice. Here are five effective ideas that will help you to unscrew your emotions and spray it over your lovable partner:

Dinner dates

The best way to enter into a man’s heart is through is stomach. To know more about his likes and dislikes get him a gourmet dinner where you both can spend good times with each other. If you are ready to test your culinary skills on your lover boy, you can try the same as well.

Memorable gifts

Gifts always add up to good memories. Right from happy birthday gifts till wedding gifts, there are many options. But gifting your valentine requires some special skills. Try to check and find out what is he needing and surprise him. This will give a great moment of happiness between you both.

Drive a mile

What food and gift could not do, a long drive can. It is the best mood setter for romance. A midnight drive is the best thing where you both could talk, hold hands and walk as long as you don’t exhaust. The silence speaks much volume than loud words.

Custom cake

A red velvet heart shaped cake commemorates the valentine day where the love birds once again declare the deep love for each other. You can choose to bake or design a personalised one from the reputed valentine cakes London bakeries a day or two prior, so that you get your cake on time.

Surprise party

If your man is the party type, simply call his friends and associates for a party night. Make him understand how much you value his personal space and to what extend you can go to make him happy.

Though these ideas are not out of the box, these carry plenty of emotions with them. These idea lead you to express what you feel from inside for that one person who is everything for you at present and in future. While you plan all these surprises for the man you love, you may never know what is planning to surprise you. With loads of love and anticipation this year, play surprise-surprise and welcome the valentine with your man in the most romantic manner!

Truth About How To Date Beautiful Women

datingAfter millions of years how many dating secrets do you believe are still secret?

The truth is there are no dating secrets left at all, but the good news is that there are a whole lot of forgotten truths that will change your life when it comes to dating.

So much of the male lineage and legacy has been forgotten. Why? Because feminism has swung the pendulum too far away from masculinity. No judgment here. The world needed it. The feminist movement was essential.

The down-side is that it has gotten to a point where most men think it is their destiny to become some woman’s “good little boy”.

It’s horrifying to realize that men have slid down the ladder to 2nd class citizens and mere puppets of society in the last 50 years. The good news is that the dating secrets you seek are the truths your great-grandfather knew and all the men in your family before him knew them. And now it is time for you to know them too.

But not the dating secrets that magazines, web sites, popular movies and the media want you to think are magic tricks. They are all bullshit. Mostly written by women or feminized men.

“No, it’s time for the real dating secrets or truths, based on thousands of years of evolution. Based on anthropology and biology. Most importantly, based on your heritage as a man – which is your birthright.”

So what dating secrets can your great-grandfather teach you about getting laid? After all, what can that fossil possibly know that the modern man doesn’t know? Seriously, he was a Gorilla by comparison. He was crude, rude, didn’t listen, didn’t care, spent most of his time working or with his men friends, was probably a quiet man, he thought a woman’s work was superfluous, he didn’t express his emotions and probably wasn’t even aware of them.

So how could he be successful at getting laid? EXACTLY.

Don’t you get it? He didn’t care what his woman wanted him to be. He expressed his emotions but only to men, not to his woman. He never pandered to what she wanted him to be. Instead, he was himself. He was a proud confident male.

Now having said that let me tell you why that worked so well. The real dating secret is that women have biological priorities. Their imperative was to survive and have their children survive. They weren’t looking for emotional men who expressed themselves, who were sensitive; they were looking for strong cocky men who would be good breeders, providers and protectors.

“The same is true of the modern women. She too has the same biological imperatives. The difference is that the modern women is so influenced by media and pop culture, that she is confused as to which characteristics in a man to look for.”

Lucky for you, it is only her conscious mind that is confused. Lucky for you, it is her subconscious mind that makes all her decisions for her when it comes to attraction.

“So while her pop culture conscious mind is seeking today’s whims, he body, her hormones and her subconscious is still looking for the same characteristics her great-grandmother was looking for; strength in a man for survival. Which shows up as cockiness and self -assuredness, not as sensitivity or emotionality.”

So if it’s dating secrets you want and need, look no further than you own male legacy and the truth about what really attracts women.

Tips for Getting Him to Fall for You Again

Loving a Virgo man is one of the most amazing experiences a woman can ever have. Virgo men are arguably the most devoted, loving and loyal partners there are. It’s heartbreaking for a woman if her relationship with a man like this ends. She may spend weeks, months or even years trying to rekindle the romance. If you’re wondering how to get a Virgo man back you need a very specific plan to make it happen. Trying to win back his love without fully understanding how to appeal to his heart and mind will typically result in you losing him forever. There are just a few small steps you need to follow that will ensure you get the second chance with your man that you adore.

Understanding how to get a Virgo man back starts with recognizing that men like this are very uncomfortable when faced with an overly emotional woman. It’s hard not to show your emotions when you feel your one true love is slipping out of your life. You do have to make an effort to hold back your tears and not plead with him to take you back. If you can show him that you’re mature enough to handle a difficult situation like this, he’ll be impressed. Cry if you need to, but do it in private, away from him. When you’re speaking with him or if you happen to run into him somewhere, put a smile on your face and remain calm and in control. This is essential if you stand any chance of winning back his love.

Establishing yourself as a trusted friend to him is a very good approach to take if you want to know how to get a Virgo man back. Men born under this sign take their time to fall in love and fall back in love. You need to stay connected with him and a friendship is the ideal way to do that. Mention to him that it would be nice to remain friendly and then hold to that. Don’t mention your former romance and don’t try to invite him out for dinner to talk things over. Call him up occasionally to see how he is. If he happens to ask about your current dating status, steer the conversation away from that without giving anything away. A little distance combined with friendship and kindness will go a long ways towards winning back your Virgo man’s heart.

Tips for Gift Ideas for Boyfriend’s Birthday

It can tough thinking of creative romantic suggestions for boyfriend’s birthday and so we’ve put together a summary of gifts for guys to give you some inspiration and concepts.

Obviously, not all guys are the same, and so there is no generic present that’ll be perfect. Part of making romantic gifts for the boyfriend is making it something which is meaningful or special for your partner. Another concern for a lot of is also the cost – finding inexpensive gifts or activities to celebrate birthdays which are romantic can be another challenge by itself. For that reason we’ve included the free and low-cost ideas in addition to some that are a little more expensive based on your budget. Remember though cost doesn’t show how much you love or worry about a person – creativity usually does!

Romantic Birthday Suggestions for Boyfriends & Husbands:

Personalized Clothes

Clothing is a nice gift because will be personalized and romantic, however, you also know they’ll be used. Lots of guys tend to like the sentimental/romantic stuff But additionally like practical things too. There are some great sites like and Spreadshirt that may help you design the perfect shirt, underwear, hats, and much more that say exactly what you would like them to say. Both sites also provide some great different ideas and examples you can find that are pre-made if designing isn’t your strong point.

Tickets for an Event

Does your boyfriend possess a favorite sports team? A concert he really wants to see? You can order tickets online for almost any event and plan to go either at the time of his birthday or perhaps a day soon after as a present. Sports and concerts may not seem like the most romantic part of the world, but most guys will appreciate and realize just how much you love them when they observe that you picked out their favorite team or concert.

Tickets for an Event

Does your boyfriend possess a favorite sports team? A concert he really wants to see? You can order tickets online for almost any event and plan to go either at the time of his birthday or perhaps a day soon after as a present. Sports and concerts may not seem like the most romantic part of the world, but most guys will appreciate and realize just how much you love them when they observe that you picked out their favorite team or concert.

Romantic Dinner

My hubby every year just wants something for his birthday: for all of us to have a romantic dinner along with no interruptions or distractions. You are able to take him out to his favorite restuarant or plan a pleasant quiet surprise at home with his favorite dinner that you simply cook (or if you are a terrible cook, there’s always delivery and take-out!) or go on a romantic picnic for 2 if weather permits.

Pamper Him

Lots of guys love being pampered. Massage oils, lotions, a bubble bath for 2 or other things that are appropriate for the relationship and level of intimacy can be a win-win present for you both.

At Work Surprises

In case your guy’s birthday is a day he needs to work, you may be able to arrange several surprises with coworkers or even the boss if it will not place in jeopardy of getting in trouble. You can arrange to decorate his office for instance with a banner or balloons the night time before or have coworkers deliver him one small romantic give open over the course of the day.

Something Homemade

Our listing of homemade romantic gift ideas has from love jars to artwork and crafts to some “When You’re Over Kit” you can make for your boyfriend for his birthday. If you’re on a tight budget, you’ll be sure to love all of those romantic ideas.

A tough to Find Item

Every guy has something they would like but is just pretty difficult to find. Maybe it’s a book or toy using their childhood – maybe it’s a unique kind of fishing lure or their most favorite food or drink. Anything, if you can track it down and discover it for them it can be a great sentiment that you simply remembered they wanted it/couldn’t think it is and went to all the trouble to have it.

Rent a Something

To not be able to buy an exotic car or perhaps a hot air balloon or the boat of his dreams…but you can probably rent one for any day or a few hours that makes it much more affordable and very fun move to make together since you don’t do it all of times. My husband would be *thrilled* if I rented him a ship for the two of us for any day! (Unfortunately, his birthday can also be in December, which at freezing temperatures isn’t precisely the best sailing weather where we live!)

Creative Presentation

It sometimes doesn’t matter what you give it’s how you provide. You could for example create a scavenger or treasure hunts with clues for them to reach their romantic birthday destination. A little suspense or mystery will go a long way!

Something You Hate

While obviously you need to use your best judgment on this and that i would never suggest doing whatever you are not comfortable doing, generally it can be a really impressive gift of passion to give your boyfriend a birthday present of something hate and have to make a sacrifice to complete. For example, maybe he LOVES simulation games, however, you could care less about the subject. For his birthday you can promise that you’d spend x amount time playing those games with him.

Romantic Games

There are lots of romantic games for couples that you could play together. You can make them yourself for little if any cost or check out the romantic games on Amazon for inspiration and concepts as well.

Tips for Couples Thanksgiving Ideas

Thanksgiving usually has been thought as this family event where large and abundant meals, families & football games were the main centerpiece during this Thanksgiving holiday season. There’re are a lot of things that need to be done during this season that you’d probably end up busy and you might end up neglecting your partner/relationship because of this Thanksgiving season. It shouldn’t be the case. You should have time to insert a bit of romance and also let your partner feel how special he/she is to you during Thanksgiving.

Below are 10 ideas to give your partner and your love relationship that romantic spark that it needs:

1) Have fun cooking together If both you & your partner enjoy the pleasures of cooking then do set a bit of time aside for both of you where you could try and cook for each other and enjoy the Thanksgiving treats that you’ll each be preparing.

2) Be a date to somebody else You could try and volunteer to be somebody else’s date so you could probably help a person not be alone during this holiday season. This could make you more thankful with all your blessings and not focus on the many problems.

3) Attending that service during Thanksgiving Be sure to attend at least 1 service then make this as the time for reflection.

4) Watch that festive parade during Thanksgiving You and your partner could both watch the parade together before going on to having that Thanksgiving party dinner with either of your families. This ensures a bit of together time well before all of your families intrude in.

5) Have an unusual date by exercising with your partner Do the unusual date by exercising together. Go biking around the neighborhood or you could also go to gym together. This will actually assist you in shedding off holiday fats as well as give both you and your partner some quality time as well.

6) Go driving around the countryside You and your partner both should sneak out at sometime and just go for that leisurely drive in your car on the countryside. It will give lots of alone time with each other before you tackle Thanksgiving dinner with family.

7) Play the “Twister” game You could both play this game when your day is about to close to ending just to really unwind a bit from all that chaotic but happy hustle & bustle that is Thanksgiving.

8) Cozying with the fireplace Turn your fireplace on, make some really good cocoa, turn your lights down then play some really good and soothing music. These quiet moments are really the most sweet and romantic times.

9) Watching/attending a game of football This can be made into a tradition or you could do this just once. You could either watch it on TV or you could attend it personally with your partner on the ball field. Either way, you’d be sure to have fun!

10) Prepare that private celebration for you guys on Thanksgiving! Spend really quality time with your partner by having that romantic Thanksgiving dinner celebration for just the 2 of you. Make it really special and be sure to appreciate your partner and be really thankful because you have each other.

Tips for Boyfriend Romantic Surprise

Passion is quintessence of a relationship and romantic surprise ideas work wonders to convey your feelings ardently. For that perfect bonding you have to add excitement in your relationship. It’s good that you simply express your love enthusiastically, however, you also need to learn the game of surprises to help keep the flames ignited. It is because people love to see more of those activities that are quite hidden. Partners must share everything with one another but sometimes it is quite important to be little unpredictable and surprising towards the life mate. Hence, romantic surprise ideas provides you with that charm and creative suggestions to put your partner in wondering when they really know you. It’s brilliant to organize something romantic for your beloved, but when you twist it right into a romantic surprise idea it’ll reap you boundless smiles and love out of your partner. Whatever you do just be sure you add up the flavor of surprise into it and let you both enjoy the beautiful ecstasy of affection.

By romantic surprise ideas help make your relation exciting and fun loving. Don’t watch for any occasion and special date just make all your days surprising and exciting for your better half. Find the most popular romantic surprise suggestions for couples and foster romance by using it.

Write a romantic letter.

These days of facebook and twitter, do something completely from the grain like writing out an appreciation letter for your partner in your own hand. Make use of a perfumed paper if you have one and sign served by a lipstick kiss. For the guys rolling your eyes in the lipstick impression, dress up your epistle instead having a satin ribbon like the lovers of yore and you’ll know why Don Juan was this type of hit with women. Finally let it rest somewhere least expected as with the car dashboard or pinned on his/her pillow.

lan a workday lunch.

Select a day when you know your partner doesn’t have something important lined up at the office. Then surprise him or her by appearing in the workplace and offering to deal with them to lunch. Your partner won’t be pleased at all the envious glances from co-workers but happy to have such a romantic diversion on the mundane workday.

Dedicate an audio lesson to your partner.

Dedicate an audio lesson to your partner on his/her favorite radio station. This is effective for music-lovers and especially if you know few of the partner’s favorite numbers. However the catch would be to make sure that the radio is on so your partner does not miss the dedication. You can easily do this if you both are in your own home but if your loved one is at work, you can rope in a colleague to make sure that the radio is playing the best station.

Climb into the bath together with your partner.

Climb into the bath together with your partner and he/she is sure to be thrilled in the romantic intrusion. Bring along a divine-smelling body wash in addition to a loofah and offer to give your partner a pleasant scrub. The best part about this surprise is you can either let it end having a relaxing soak and a refreshing shower or proceed further to an intimate encounter. In either case, it is sure to make your partner’s day.

Make gift coupons.

Place a little bit of thought into that one and come up with intimate ideas you know your partner will like. A sensual massage for the woman for instance complete with aromatic oils, flickering candles and soft music. Or even a role playing session for any husband who has a thing for French maids. Create a great show of presenting the coupons for your partner and warn them when not redeemed soon enough, the sale may expire.

Buy something special for your better half.

An expensive gift like a bit of jewelry or a custom-made men’s accessory, can pleasantly surprise your lover, especially at a time when no birthdays or anniversaries are across the corner. However not all of them need create a dent in your pocket. You could search for something with a special significance such as the perfume or cologne that the partner wore the first time you continued a date. A gift like this wouldn’t necessarily empty your bank account but work as well to surprise your partner with romantic memories of history.

Romance Chat Tips

There are very many ways of meeting potential dates in the modern world. The most popular way is through online chat rooms. Romance chat is the conversation that singles engage in when they are looking for love online. There are several rules that govern romance chats and, the following are some of the helpful tips that will enable you know how to best conduct yourself. First, it is vital for you to be realistic. Not all singles looking for spouses online are suitable for you. There are lunatics even criminals. It is is not very easy keeping away from them because you might not even recognize them. However, you need to be very keen while chatting online. You can only judge people from the stuff they are writing in the chat messages. Where romance is involved, you need to be very careful so that you do not get hurt or hurt another person. Romance is a language that is not vulgar. It is a language that is not sexually expressive or graphic. If you find that some chat messages are too graphic for you, you are chatting with the wrong person.

To conduct a healthy and good romance chat, you need to make sure that you follow all the rules as provided by the online dating service you are registered to. The services will guide you on what is acceptable and what is not. To ensure that you are not banned from the service, you need follow the rules. One major rule that you will find in many dating services is that, there should be maintenance of proper language. Once you are in a romance chat, it is vital for you to be objective. Ask yourself what you want to achieve from the chat. Many people chat for the sake of chatting. There are others who are looking to improve the relationships that they have established. Dating and romance is serious business and, if you want to keep it that way, you better chat for the purpose of establishing healthy relationships. The first thing to check in this regard is maturity. Is the chat on romance mature enough for you?

A mature romance chat does not have to be dry and boring. However, both participants will be sexual only in a subtle way. There is a beauty that comes from being down to earth and shy in words inspired by romance. A mistake that you can make is to force things. Do not plan on what you are going to say. You do not want to interfere with the nature of romance. Being romantic in a chat is saying things that are complimentary. It is making the other person feel special sometimes in an exaggerated manner. Online romance while chatting can be expressed by symbols like emotions and others. It is all about creativity and, when you have the tips in the back of your mind, you will definitely have a successful chat on romance. Talk about serious stuff in a light way and joke about it. Romance is all about smiles and joy.

How To Contact an Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Contact with your ex… it’s sticky, it’s tricky, and it’s something that puts knots in the pit of your stomach.  So what should you do?  How do you handle it?  Well… read on!

Situation 1: Your Ex Contacts You

This is the best-case scenario for someone looking to get back with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend. After your initial disappearing act, your former-lover is going to wonder where you went and what you’re now doing. Suddenly they won’t feel so special anymore, especially since you’re not chasing after them. They may be missing you, curious about you… whatever. It doesn’t matter, really. All that matters is that by contacting you out of the blue, your ex is giving you one of the major signs that your ex-boyfriend may want you back.

If you’re trying to get back an ex girlfriend, the signs your ex-girlfriend wants you back are basically the same, but her motives for wanting you back may be slightly different.

At any rate, being contacted is always better than having to re-establish the connection on your own. If you’ve starved your ex of any kind of communication with you, chances are you’re due for a phone call. Don’t go thinking your ex is too busy to call you, or doesn’t care enough to pick up the phone… the reason things might not be working out for you right now is because you’re keeping up too much of a relationship with your ex. Being always around, they never get the chance to miss you. Try disappearing for a while – you’ll be surprised at how well it works.

Situation 2: You Run Into Your Ex

There are two ways you can bump into your exgirlfriend or boyfrind. Either you run into her somewhere you both might commonly be (the mall, a local restaurant, school…), or you set up a situation where you “accidentally” bump into her. While I don’t recommend the latter, there are instances where you can make it work. What you’ll need to do first though, is have a long period where you and your ex haven’t seen each other, spoken, emailed, or even had third-person contact through a friend. If that’s the case, your ex won’t suspect anything when you suddenly and casually run into her in public. But beware: if she thinks for even one split second that you set her up? You’re going to be labeled a stalker… and there’s almost no coming back from that.

When you do see your ex for the first time, there are two important things to do. First, keep it friendly and casual. Don’t discuss anything serious (especially not your break up!) and don’t ask her about her dating situation (doing so is a big red flag for her at this point). Make small talk, but keep eye contact. Be genuinely happy to see her, but don’t act overly excited. Ask her how things have been, and what she’s been up to, and how her family is doing.

The second thing to do: keep it short. Even if the conversation is going good (and especially if it’s going good), keep things quick and get moving. You want to leave your ex wanting more… you’ve said hello, made an impression, it was good to see each other again. Know that she’ll be thinking about you even after you’ve moved on, so don’t linger around longer than you should. If you do that, it could come off as a little bit clingy or desperate.

Situation 3: You Need To Contact Your Ex

In trying to get back your ex, a lot of the process involves the correct timing. While you’re alone and removed from his life, try to still keep an ear to the ground as to what your ex is doing. Don’t overly occupy yourself with his daily life, but there may be situations where your ex is a little more approachable than other times. When enough time has gone by and you’re ready to re-establish contact with your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, there may be an opportunity you can take advantage of.

For example, if you know your ex is graduating, you can send them a card or give them a congratulatory phone call on that day. This is something you knew beforehand, so it’s not like you stalked him… and he’ll think it’s kind of sweet that you remembered his day. You also haven’t called or talked to him in a long while, so he doesn’t think you have ulterior motives. This is the type of situation I’m talking about.

And remember all those things your ex left behind after you broke up? This is another more innocent way you can get in touch with him. If he left nothing more than a CD or book, you really have no grounds to make such a call. Weeks or months later, that type of contact with your ex will seem lame and contrived. But if he left a bunch of stuff? You can shoot him an email. Tell him you were cleaning up, and you found XYZ… and hey, would he like it? Don’t offer to drop it off, either. Let your exboyfriend arrange a time and place where he’s going to pick it up. If he offers to meet you for lunch or coffee or something like that, even better. That’s yet another sign he’s been thinking about you in a good way.

Getting back in touch after a breakup requires learning when and how to call your ex. Find out exactly the best approach to suit your own situation, before you even think about moving forward.

Situation 4: Meeting Up With Your Ex

Want your ex back? Good. Then you’ll definitely need to know how to handle the reunion date.

When you get to the point where you’re going to physically meet your ex again, congratulations. If even this meeting is nothing more than an innocent cup of coffee it’s still a giant step toward winning back your ex.

Feeling somewhat nervous about seeing him or her again is normal, but try to remember that your exboyfriend or girlfriend is probably feeling the same way. Instead, focus on being confident, and as cool as possible.

You’ll want to steer clear of any serious conversation on your first meeting. Keep things light, happy, and fun. Don’t tell your ex you missed him or have been thinking about him – tipping your hand too early can set you back a few steps. However, be on the look out for signals or signs your ex might be giving off that act as green lights toward reconciliation. Know exactly what these signs are, so you can encourage them when they occur.

First face-to-face contact with your ex should be something you both have a good time with. Break the ice with small talk and try to just catch up on things. Don’t think about your past relationship and try to treat this almost as if it were a first date. There may be some flirting, or maybe not. Let your ex do most of the talking, and try to read where he is on things. Maintain some distance of your own, but be prepared to close that distance if your ex starts leaning in more intimate directions. Body language plays a big role here, and you should be aware of it.

The goal of your reunion date is simple: to have another one. Leave your ex happy and wanting to see more of you. “Let’s do this again” should flow naturally from both sides of the table, it shouldn’t be awkward or strange or anything like that. The more comfortable you ex becomes around you, the easier it will be to get him or her back.

How to Stop Clinging to Failed Relationships

Sophie and Max broke up three months ago but her friends would never say so. ‘Max is all she talks about,’ sighs Omeshnie, who has been close to 25-year-old Sophie since the three studied interior design at the University of Technology. ‘She keeps rehashing what went wrong and going on about how great things were and how she can’t live without him. She’s got this idea he’s going to wake up and realize he needs her too, and come trotting back. But he’s with someone else, for goodness sake. I love Sophie but sometimes I’d like to shake her and make her let go’.

Clinging to dead relationships is surprisingly common among even otherwise liberated young women, say relationship counselors. Some simply can’t accept that a relationship has come full circle.

Why you Cling

The need to cling can be caused by many different issues. Sometimes it’s to do with having a dependent personality, possibly connected to issues from your past. Fearing rejection or abandonment, or struggling to cope with these usually starts in the home, although it’s not always to do with parents, and it becomes a pattern.

Clinging can also stem from perfectionism. There’s often a feeling of ‘I’m not good enough but if he’ll just give me more time I’ll show him my better side and he’ll learn to love me’. Perfectionists see letting go as a sign of personal failure, rather than of a particular relationship not working because one partner has discovered the other simply isn’t suitable, and they can fear looking bad.

Holding on to relationships, emotions, jobs or anything else is generally rooted in issues of security and fear of change. Sometimes we cling to people and things even when we know they’re holding us back from something better. It’s a way of protecting ourselves from the risk of failure and disappointment that can come with aiming higher.

Clingers can also be reluctant to give up the sheer comfort and convenience of what they’ve had with someone, irrespective of such core issues as emotional compatibility. As Sophie once tearfully told Omeshnie, ‘It’s not like I just lost Max – I lost my friend, my lover, my movie and theatre date, my design sounding board, my support system.’

‘Except he wasn’t really much of one,’ observes Omeshnie dryly, ‘or he wouldn’t have dropped her for a model just out of school’.

It’s called a break-up because it’s broken. People don’t quit loving, healthy relationships – only relationships that aren’t working on some level, even if one partner doesn’t recognize it yet.

Learning not to cling starts with reviewing your understanding of dating and relationships. When someone breaks up with you, you need to accept that it’s not because there’s something wrong with you but that you’re just not what they want at this stage of their life. Seen this way, no damage is done and you can move on and find a better fit. The trouble is that today young people move too quickly into relationships and they invest too much. It becomes a case of ‘I shared my body and life story with him. How can he do this to me?’

Dating is about looking at another person and liking something about them – their physique, perhaps, the way they dress, the way they listen – then going out and getting to know them. This used to take weeks, months or even years but today it may take only one or two nights. It’s far better to wait and take things one step at a time.

Relationships are about the mutual fulfillment of needs. For that, you need to know each other really well, and to give each other space and have space for yourself. This allows you to share common interests and values while continuing to grow as individuals, winning increasing respect.

If you have only a few points of difference, or they are minor ones, it makes sense to try to resolve them. But if they’re major differences you are better off cutting your losses and quitting before you commit too far and feel trapped. You can’t change who you are for someone else. You can try, but bitterness and resentment will set in and you risk losing your sense of self.

How to Peel Free

It’s vital to realize when a relationship has reached a dead end, and to bless the other person and let them go. While that may sound easier said than done, it’s doable.

Here’s how:

Make some Quiet Time and ask Yourself why you still Can’t let go.

What are you really trying to avoid – being left on your own and not managing to make it? Being embarrassed by others thinking you can’t keep a man and make a relationship work? Then ask yourself: what’s the worst that could happen if he left? How likely is it to happen? How would you feel? Would it really be worse than the way you feel now?

Examine your Feelings.

Chances are you’re hurt, frightened or angry. If you keep holding on to the source of those feelings you can’t hope to change them. If you accept that your relationship is over and move on, they will lessen with distance and time. When you let yourself experience the pain of losing someone, the pain soon loses its power and so does your need to cling. To the extent you let go, you become free inside. You restore your sense of being alive and your peace of mind. You see your situation clearly and you can see what needs to be done.

Ask Yourself what you still want from this Man

An apology, especially if he cheated on you? An explanation? A sign that he too is hurting, at least a little? Are you hoping for reassurance that you’re still a great person? That he really did love you, once? Or that he still cares about you as a friend? Even if he gives you all this, and perhaps a session of old-times sex on the side, understand he’s simply trying to let you down lightly – either because of what you once had together or because it makes him feel better about himself and less guilty. Or maybe he just wants to score.

In any event, it won’t make you feel better in the long term, and will simply keep you dangling longer in limbo, instead of breaking free. By the time a man says he wants out, he’s already weighed his options and made up his mind. He’s looking to put distance between you and if you try to crawl or claw your way back he’ll retreat further and become more defensive. Hard as it may be to acknowledge, there’s always a degree of fault on both sides when a relationship breaks down, and pointing his out will only alienate him more. So will saying potentially self-serving things such as, ‘What about the cats/our parents/our declarations of love?’ This can come across as emotional blackmail and won’t save a relationship.

Review your Relationship

With retrospect you should be able to spot some warning signs of a break-up. Noting them could help you recognize them in future relationships and address them if they are related to your own behavior, or get out quickly if they centre on his.

Rally your Friends and Supporters

Swapping break-up stories can help you unburden as well as restore your confidence (these women survived alone, right?), and even your sense of humor (if you have the right friends). You can’t hurry healing, and everyone must work through a break-up at their own rate, but if friends tell you you’re obsessing like Sophie, you may benefit from professional counseling.

Find Resolution through a Healing Ritual

There’s no tomorrow without forgiveness. Much as it may stick in your throat, tell your man, ‘I’m sorry for the pain I caused you.’ He too will have suffered to some extent, even if he initiated the break-up. Then ask, ‘Is there anything I can do for you?’ If you manage to see the hurt in the other person instead of focusing solely on your own, you will feel better faster and move forwards.

Do Controlled Grieving

Rather than falling apart, buy a journal and write in it for 20 minutes every day. Think back on the good times and journal those as well as the bad – you need to mourn them too to let go. If you like, you can eventually bury the journal in a balcony pot or the garden, and plant a favorite flower or tree over it. It can be liberating to see something grow out of your experience. Take therapeutic showers. Get under a warm shower and tell yourself, ‘I’m letting go of the anger and pain’, and feel the water cleanse you, washing your feelings down the drainpipe. Now tell yourself you’re done with it, and move on.

Tips to Make Him Want You Back

Although breaking up is a part of any romantic relationship, there are women who still want their ex boyfriend back and work things out. Men are sometimes stubborn and often afraid to commit to long term relationship that is why it could be difficult to win him back if you do not know how. If you really want to win him back, you need to learn the techniques to make him want you back for good.

It is not impossible to have a second chance with the man you really love and there are things that you can do to make him want you back. Here are some tips:

Be cool and calm about the break up. Do not attempt to do anything crazy like sending non-stop text messages and calling him every minute. If you want to make him want you back, the first thing that you need to do is to be calm and do not panic. Acting desperate for his attention will make him avoid you more.

Make him wonder. Even if you want to communicate with him right after the break up to make him want you back, yo have to do the opposite and cut all means of communication for a while to keep your distance. The idea here is to play hard to get and this strategy works because people want what they cannot have.  If you have no reaction or you seem not affected by the break up, he will start to wonder what is going on with your life now or if you are seeing someone else now.  That curiosity will make him realize that he still cares. He will begin to miss you and search you out to communicate with you again.

Rediscover yourself. Try to look back and rediscover the best things about you that he used to love; things that made him fell in love with you in the first place. Have you changed since then? If yes, then you have to rediscover how you were before to bring back the magic and make him want you back. It happens to people in a long term relationship where they somehow lost the touch and lose themselves.